An Escort Joke

One of the nicer things about my job is that I get to meet and represent escort girls from all over the world. A surprisingly small number are from England, which is my home, so it is always nice to get to know one well.

One of the ladies I have worked with in lots of different locations is a girl from Yorkshire, which is also where I am from. I lost my accent years ago and sound like I am from somewhere in the South of England. But she has a wicked West Yorkshire accent which I find charming. And so do her clients, apparently, as she is by far one of the most successful escorts Marbella has seen and is always a great joy to work with. She gets a a lot of repeat bookings. Anyway, because I know her well she told me a joke that perhaps only people from England (or even only Yorkshire) will understand. Here it is for you.

A Yorkshireman´s wife passes away after many years of happy marriage. Which is a thing in itself, but anyway. He decides to have the words “She Were Thine” engraved on her headstone to commemorate her great piety and commitment to the Church of England.

He calls the mason, explains what he wants and, being from Yorkshire, haggles a little over the price but not too much out of respect for his departed loved one. Then he goes back to see the headstone a couple of days later. He takes one look and, to his horror, finds the mason has mistakenly engraved the words “She Were Thin”.

He yells I rage to the stone mason “The blummin´ e is missing! Tha´s left out the blummin´e lad. Get it fixed right quick like.”

The mason apologies profusely and assures the widower that it will be right on the day of the funeral.

The day of the funeral comes around. The mourners leave the church and head out mournfully to the graveyard for the burial. There, in the glow of the winter sun inscribed in gold on the pristine marble headstone were the words

“Eeh, She Were Thin”.